the secret of the world ; is written in the stars

Sunday, August 5, 2007

the same thoughts have been running around in my head for days ...

was it the right thing to do ...

were those the right words to say ...

were the things i had to say really important ...

was it worth the trouble it's causing ...

or was it just myself being selfish ...

it all seems to be have been wrong ...

better that i should have left things the way they were ...

that everyone was at least satisified with the status quo ...

but i just had too mess it up for everyone ...

it seems that what may seem like the right thing to do ...

always seems to be the wrong thing to do in hindsight ...

and i always seem to be making the same mistakes ...

and knowing that ...

i still carry on the way i am ...

perhaps it really was a big mistake ...

that i should have just ignored ...

but i just can't ignore it ...

not when it affects those i care about ...

but do my actions really show that ...

or are they just my own selfish actions for my own personal gain ?

is the pain i've cause justifiable ?

to myself and the people around me ...

will i ever find out ... or will i remain the way i am ?

they say only time will tell ...

but i'm saying time only goes by ...

the answers will never be revealed ...

we only see what we want to see ...

and if what we want to see seems like a solution ...

we think we've found the answer ...

but it's never really an answer ...

just an illusion of an answer ...

so ...

perhaps what i saw ...

was just an illusion ...

an illusion that has deluded me into doing what i've done ...

an illusion that has opened up a pandora's box full of sorrow ...

but ...

remember ...

the last thing that remained in pandora's box ...

the most important thing ...

that has kept humans going on and on ...

hope ...

hope for a better tommorrow ...

hope that things will turn out right ...

hope that time will erase all that has past ...

hope ...

a powerful thing ...

I'm just sorry for all that has happened. I know a mere sorry can't do much. But at this time. Sorry's all can I say to you. Perhaps if this wasn't just an illusion ... Perhaps ... You'll see why I did the things I did ... And did what I did ... Or ... Perhaps it was really was an illusion ... Than ... Perhaps ... What I did and what I said was wrong ... Than ... I guess I'm just another selfish human being ...

sorry

And you may not think.I care for you.When you know down inside.That I really do.

aiky wrote in white | 9:30 AM