the secret of the world ; is written in the stars

Friday, June 18, 2010

thoughts of a mind with too much time

i guess , when you have lots of time.
the one thing you'll tend to do is think.

and alot.

and i have been thinking.

and been considering many things from many angles.

and i've come to many a realization.

some things are just fated to be.

i guess many things are just what you imagine them to be.

and the reality might just not be what you want it to be.

but you should just accept it for what it is. and move along.

there's no point brooding over it. but human nature is always as such.

what could have been ?

if it's meant to be , fate will hand you a second chance.

aiky wrote in white | 8:30 AM

Friday, June 11, 2010

why can't everything go back to the way it was

老天又在耍我 ...

sigh ... now the surgeon say don't operate yet , schedule me for Pain Management see how ...
but wtf man ...
the appointment for that is in freaking October for now ...
so from now till than how ? hopefully can bring forward the appointment ...
pro is that for now , MC ends at the end of July
but con is that ... I'M STILL LIVING IN BLOODY PAIN ...
and Pain Mgmt is not a permanent solution ,
the injection lasts only a couple of months if it's even effective ...
and I've got no idea what's gonna happen when i get back to camp ... argh ...
so damn stressed ...

ok i wrote that a couple of hours ago ... now i guess i'm calmer now ...
but still the feeling sucks ...

it's like from the start till now ... at the snails pace this has been going ...
i've not gotten better but only gotten worse ...

not to mention for some stupid reason , i keep worrying about camp stuff ...
i've done so much for them , and still they just don't give a real damn about me ...
just feels so depressing when they look at me and i can see it in their eyes that i'm like slacking or something ... but bloody hell ... it hurts like shit ...
and i've been bearing with it and trying to work and all but i just can't take it anymore ...

aiky wrote in white | 6:27 PM