the secret of the world ; is written in the stars

Sunday, November 15, 2009

quiet times

it's been a while since i last wrote anything ...
much much longer since i wrote anything much of my thoughts and experiences ...

ht mentioned something about the fact that he can't seem to pen his thoughts these days ...
i realized that most of us now in NS ... are the same ... and i'm starting to realize why my friends who were in NS seemed to rarely update their blogs ...
at the end of the week , you're much too tired ... and everything you do ...
is either mundane , classified (~_~) or just so ARMY that only guys who are in the army now would even be able to picture it or get the joke ...

realized that more and more ... the only topics i can think of when i'm hanging out are army , bitching about army , a little about cameras (but no one's really interested) , reminiscing back about times gone by or just lamenting about my almost dead social life.

most weekends , all i remember is just sleeping.
and eating. and trying to do something.
but rarely do i get anything completed.
it's as if a part of me, has died and the rest of the body just can't really function without it.
the thing is , what has changed ?

can anybody tell me ?
i personally feel that i've been smiling a whole lot lesser ,
been feeling less cheerful than i'd normally be ...
is this culture shock from being in my unit ?

i feel so useless. like as if my time and youth is being wasted away for no purpose.
and when i get home on the weekends , i'm just too tired.

i don't even think i'm making sense any more .

i need a timeout . EOY , i finally get my leave.

aiky wrote in white | 5:27 PM